ВЗРОСЛЫЕ ДЕТИ. ОБЩЕНИЕ

ВЗРОСЛЫЕ ДЕТИ. ОБЩЕНИЕ.

Так уж вышло, что у меня уже взрослая дочь (35 лет), маленький сын (3 года) и падчерица, которой 13 лет (не нравится мне слово «падчерица», но зато понятно положение девочки по отношению ко мне).

Есть такая поговорка:  маленькие детки – маленькие бедки, большие дети – большие беды (сформулировал  немного коряво, простите). И другая пословица: что посеял, то и пожал.

Не убавить и не прибавить. Так и есть. Да сегодня и не поймешь,  с какого времени нужно говорить – у меня уже взрослый ребенок. Иногда и своему 3-х летнему сыну я говорю – ты у меня уже взрослый.

Когда дети растут, у нас, очень часто, не хватает времени на общение с ними. Мы не знаем или не замечаем всех их проблем, страхов и забот. А понимаем это только потом, когда они выросли и что-то у них не складывается – в жизни, в отношениях.

И тут нет универсальных или конкретных советов для родителей. Все очень индивидуально. Сложно. Надо разбираться с каждым конкретным случаем, доходить до самой первопричины проблемы. И там, заново, надо проходить весь процесс появления этой проблемы и корректировать действия детей. Объяснять им, где надо было поступить по-другому. Очень часто помогает. Но для этого нужно иметь кредит доверия от детей, который закладывается в детстве.

Когда же наступает непонимание при общении между родителями и детьми?                                                                                                                                       Чаще всего это происходит в так называемый (второй) переходный период. Он наступает, где-то, после 10 лет: «Я все уже знаю, не учи МЕНЯ!!!» В это время главное «не пережать» со своим авторитетом. Иначе можно из маленького ЧЕЛОВЕКА сделать безинициативного, безидейного, просто пассивного ребенка. Вначале это очень удобно – с ребенком нет никаких проблем. А позднее, где-то после 16 лет, начинаешь понимать и волноваться – а как же он такой вялый и не активный сможет устроиться в сегодняшней жизни?!                                                                                                               «Не пережать», уловить ту грань, перед которой ребенок останется активным, всем интересующимся, просто веселым. Ведь именно из таких малышей и вырастают лидеры.  

Так ведь, что интересно – ведь именно такие дети, повзрослев, менее конфликтны. У них есть твердое «Я». Но они и выслушивают другую сторону в конфликтных ситуациях.                                                                                    А с ребятами, которых мы «пережали», происходит все по-другому. Они вырастают пассивными, обидчивыми, при малейших трудностях или проблемах сразу уходящими в себя. Смотрим мы на них, уже достаточно взрослых, и не понимаем – в кого они у нас такие?                       

ОБИДЫ.

А  обиды таких детей (пережатых) на всех с годами только суммируются. Причем и на родителей тоже. Если бы мы могли узнать про эти накопленные обиды, то с удивлением обнаружили, что подавляющее большинство из них просто мизерны. Но они накапливаются, первопричины забываются, а обида остается.

Есть ли выход?

Да. Но какой ценой?

Кто-то должен переступить через себя, уступить, изменить мнение (оценку) – иногда дети, но в подавляющем большинстве случаев это мы, родители. Это трудно – суметь добраться до первопричины. Но другого пути нет. И это должны  опять сделать мы – родители.

Знаете, ведь иначе получаются разрывы с детьми. Надолго. Иногда на всю жизнь.

А без общения с детьми, даже если они уже взрослые, очень плохо. Особенно это начинаешь чувствовать, когда становишься  старше. Хочется выть – близок  локоток, да ….. .

И в это время, как  я сейчас, начинаю внимательнее смотреть на тех детей, которые еще рядом, подрастают. Уберечь их и себя от тех ошибок, которые уже совершил.

А с взрослыми детьми надо, все равно, находить общий язык, мириться. Ведь мы для них все те же МАМА и ПАПА, которые всегда придут на помощь. Должны прийти. Я уверен в этом.

Здорово, когда слышишь от взрослых людей : «А в выходной я (мы) поедем к родителям в гости, сядем за стол, поможем в огороде … .»  Да мало ли забот в дружной семье!?

За такими семьями будущее! Пускай их будет больше!

Только мы сами это сделаем.

 

Вы можете оставить комментарий, или ссылку на Ваш сайт.

106 комментариев к записи “ВЗРОСЛЫЕ ДЕТИ. ОБЩЕНИЕ”

  1. Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your weblog.
    You have some really good articles and I think I would be
    a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off,
    I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange
    for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested.
    Thank you!

    [Ответить]

  2. I was suggested this web site by means of my cousin. I am not sure whether or not this publish is written through him as no one else understand
    such designated approximately my difficulty. You are incredible!
    Thank you!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    I will be happy to chat. Write to me on E-mail: misami1965@gmail.com. Temporarily not open your E-mail

    [Ответить]

  3. Anh:

    Thanks for another informative website. Where else could
    I get that type of info written in such a perfect way?
    I’ve a venture that I am just now operating on, and I’ve
    been on the look out for such info.

    [Ответить]

  4. Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.
    I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later in life.
    I want to encourage yourself to continue your great posts, have a nice evening!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    thank you for the warm feedback

    [Ответить]

  5. Hi there! I just would like to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you’ve got here on this post.
    I will be coming back to your site for more soon.

    [Ответить]

  6. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea
    shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.

    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off
    topic but I had to tell someone!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    everyone should be able to listen to yourself inside, your inner voice

    [Ответить]

  7. Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post!
    It’s the little changes which will make the biggest changes.

    Thanks a lot for sharing!

    [Ответить]

  8. Hello, everything is going nicely here and ofcourse every one is
    sharing facts, that’s genuinely fine, keep up writing.

    [Ответить]

  9. Thanks for finally talking about > ВЗРОСЛЫЕ ДЕТИ.

    ОБЩЕНИЕ | Мы сами < Loved it!

    [Ответить]

  10. What’s Taking place i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and
    it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & assist other users like its helped me.
    Good job.

    [Ответить]

  11. Excellent blog you have here but I was curious if you
    knew of any message boards that cover the same topics discussed in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get advice from other knowledgeable
    individuals that share the same interest.
    If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Thanks!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    I am now preparing for the opening of the forum on issues I have raised subjects. But the start date of the forum is not yet known

    [Ответить]

  12. Wonderful goods from you, man. I have remember
    your stuff prior to and you are just too wonderful. I actually like what you have received here, really like what you are
    saying and the best way in which you are saying it.

    You’re making it enjoyable and you continue to care for to stay it smart.
    I can not wait to read much more from you. This is really
    a terrific site.

    [Ответить]

  13. This is a topic that’s close to my heart… Best wishes!
    Where are your contact details though?

    [Ответить]

  14. Someone necessarily lend a hand to make significantly articles
    I’d state. That is the very first time I frequented your
    website page and so far? I surprised with the research
    you made to create this actual submit extraordinary. Wonderful activity!

    [Ответить]

  15. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am going through difficulties with your RSS.

    I don’t know why I am unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody having
    the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond?
    Thanx!!

    [Ответить]

  16. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email.
    I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested
    in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    see table of contents

    [Ответить]

  17. Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Thanks
    for providing this information.

    [Ответить]

  18. Great post. I am facing some of these issues as well..

    [Ответить]

  19. If you would like to increase your know-how only keep visiting
    this web page and be updated with the most up-to-date information posted here.

    [Ответить]

  20. all the time i used to read smaller articles or reviews that
    also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this post which I am reading
    now.

    [Ответить]

  21. Hi there to every one, the contents existing at this web page are in fact amazing
    for people experience, well, keep up the good work fellows.

    [Ответить]

  22. What’s up, I desire to subscribe for this weblog to take latest updates, so where can i do
    it please help out.

    [Ответить]

  23. Mose:

    You could definitely see your enthusiasm within the article
    you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers
    like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

    [Ответить]

  24. Noel:

    Hey there! I’ve been reading your weblog for a long time
    now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock
    Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!

    [Ответить]

  25. I simply want to say I am just new to blogging and absolutely liked this web site. Probably I’m going to bookmark your website . You absolutely come with great posts. Thanks for revealing your blog.

    [Ответить]

  26. Awesome! Its truly remarkable post, I have got much clear idea about from this post.

    [Ответить]

  27. I do not even know how I ended up here, but
    I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going
    to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

    [Ответить]

  28. here:

    You’ll find it almost extremely difficult to come across well-updated parties on this content, however you come across as like you be aware of the things that you’re preaching about! Excellent

    [Ответить]

  29. You have remarked very interesting points! ps nice site.

    [Ответить]

  30. Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a wonderful job!

    [Ответить]

  31. Tremendously compelling elements you have said, thanks a lot for submitting.

    [Ответить]

  32. I typically do never post, however found on BLOGURL this wording of nice value, Thank you, NAME

    [Ответить]

  33. Real nice layout and good content material , nothing else we require : D.

    [Ответить]

  34. Perfectly written subject matter, Really enjoyed reading.

    [Ответить]

  35. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

    [Ответить]

  36. I simply want to tell you that I am new to posting and extremely enjoyed your review. Very possible I am inclined to bookmark your blog post . You certainly have great article material. Value it for expressing with us all of your internet information

    [Ответить]

  37. This is suitable time to generate some goals for the longer term. I have scan this post and if I would, I wish to encourage you some entertaining advice.

    [Ответить]

  38. Dead composed content, thank you for information. «You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.» by Samuel Butler.

    [Ответить]

  39. Absolute helpful resources you have stated, thank you so much for submitting.

    [Ответить]

  40. Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

    [Ответить]

  41. Very well written post. It will be supportive to anyone who usess it, as well as myself. Keep doing what you are doing — can’r wait to read more posts.

    [Ответить]

  42. I think you have observed some very interesting points , appreciate it for the post.

    [Ответить]

  43. I love reading through an article that can make men and women think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    ask questions or suggest topics. Let’s talk. Waiting for an answer here in the comments

    [Ответить]

  44. Trappe Elevator Pris:

    I genuinely enjoy looking through on this internet site , it has excellent blog posts. «Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.» by Rudyard Kipling.

    Trætrapper

    [Ответить]

  45. Some truly fantastic content on this internet site , thankyou for contribution.

    [Ответить]

  46. Hello very cool website!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also¡KI’m satisfied to find so many useful info here in the put up, we want work out extra strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

    [Ответить]

  47. you’re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The web site loading speed is incredible. It sort of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a wonderful job on this topic!

    [Ответить]

  48. There is clearly a bunch to know about this. I consider you made various nice points in features also.

    [Ответить]

  49. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

    [Ответить]

  50. Thanks for some other informative site. The place else could I am getting that type of info written in such a perfect means? I’ve a undertaking that I’m simply now running on, and I have been at the look out for such information.

    [Ответить]

  51. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays..

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    all site content is made by me personally

    [Ответить]

  52. I’m not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for wonderful information I was looking for this information for my mission.

    [Ответить]

  53. You really make it seem so easy together with your presentation but I in finding this topic to be actually one thing that I think I would by no means understand. It seems too complex and extremely vast for me. I’m having a look ahead in your subsequent post, I¡¦ll try to get the hang of it!

    [Ответить]

  54. Wonderful website. Lots of helpful info here. I¡¦m sending it to a few buddies ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks to your effort!

    [Ответить]

  55. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    [Ответить]

  56. I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site?

    [Ответить]

  57. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

    [Ответить]

  58. My spouse and i have been so fulfilled that Edward could complete his homework using the precious recommendations he came across when using the blog. It’s not at all simplistic to simply continually be offering secrets and techniques which often many people might have been selling. We really consider we have got you to thank for that. All of the explanations you’ve made, the easy blog menu, the relationships you assist to promote — it is most wonderful, and it’s really letting our son in addition to the family reason why this situation is amusing, and that is exceptionally indispensable. Many thanks for all the pieces!

    [Ответить]

  59. Great blog here! Also your website loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    https://offerhost-bill.ru

    [Ответить]

  60. Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.

    [Ответить]

  61. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    ask questions or suggest topics. Let’s talk. Waiting for an answer here in the comments

    [Ответить]

  62. Hello.This article was really interesting, particularly because I was investigating for thoughts on this subject last week.

    [Ответить]

  63. Howdy very nice blog!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Superb .. I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds additionally¡KI’m glad to find a lot of useful info here in the put up, we want develop extra techniques in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

    [Ответить]

  64. Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

    [Ответить]

  65. you’re actually a just right webmaster. The site loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a magnificent activity in this matter!

    [Ответить]

  66. I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this web site. Studying this information So i am satisfied to convey that I’ve an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I found out exactly what I needed. I so much indubitably will make certain to don¡¦t put out of your mind this website and provides it a glance on a constant basis.

    [Ответить]

  67. Hello very nice web site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally¡KI’m happy to find a lot of useful info right here in the post, we need develop extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

    [Ответить]

  68. magnificent issues altogether, you just gained a emblem new reader. What may you recommend about your publish that you made some days ago? Any certain?

    [Ответить]

  69. BLOGURL really answered my best drawback, thank you! NAME

    [Ответить]

  70. Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is great, let alone the content!

    [Ответить]

  71. I¡¦ve read several just right stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how much effort you set to create this kind of fantastic informative website.

    [Ответить]

  72. I¡¦ve read a few excellent stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot attempt you set to create this kind of fantastic informative site.

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    there are free platform and free theme (site appearance), and you can decide what platform to organize the site. This website created on a free platform with free WordPress theme PORTOCAL

    [Ответить]

  73. you’re in point of fact a excellent webmaster. The site loading velocity is incredible. It sort of feels that you are doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a wonderful task on this subject!

    [Ответить]

  74. magnificent points altogether, you simply received a emblem new reader. What may you recommend about your submit that you just made some days ago? Any certain?

    [Ответить]

  75. Hi my friend! I wish to say that this article is awesome, great written and come with almost all important infos. I¡¦d like to see extra posts like this .

    [Ответить]

  76. I think other web site proprietors should take this web site as an model, very clean and magnificent user friendly style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!

    [Ответить]

  77. This paragraph presents clear idea designed for the new users of blogging, that actually how
    to do blogging and site-building.

    [Ответить]

  78. I simply couldn’t depart your site before suggesting that I extremely loved the
    usual info an individual supply on your visitors?
    Is gonna be back continuously in order to check out new
    posts

    [Ответить]

  79. Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you maske bloggijg look easy. The overall look of your web site is great,
    as well as tthe content!

    [Ответить]

  80. hi!,I like your writing so much! proportion we communicate extra approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert on this house to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Having a look forward to see you.

    [Ответить]

  81. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks!

    [Ответить]

  82. It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    I set the direction of the topic and you ask questions, which will be the next posts

    [Ответить]

  83. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too great. I really like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it smart. I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a terrific web site.

    [Ответить]

  84. Thank you so much for giving everyone remarkably superb possiblity to check tips from this web site. It’s always very cool and also jam-packed with fun for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your web site at least thrice in 7 days to learn the new guidance you have. And indeed, we’re actually impressed concerning the excellent advice you give. Some 2 tips in this article are essentially the most beneficial we’ve ever had.

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    thank you for your feedback

    [Ответить]

  85. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with a very nice possiblity to read from this site. It is often so useful and as well , stuffed with amusement for me personally and my office friends to search your web site a minimum of three times every week to see the latest secrets you have got. And indeed, I am also usually pleased with all the terrific guidelines you serve. Selected 3 points in this article are unquestionably the most suitable we have had.

    [Ответить]

  86. This information is priceless. When can I find out more?

    [Ответить]

  87. Some truly good and utilitarian data on this subject BLOGTITLE, likewise I feel that style and style remains wonderful functions. NAME

    [Ответить]

  88. There is perceptibly a bundle to know about this. I think you made some nice points in features also.

    [Ответить]

  89. calm:

    Hi there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m
    trying to get started and set up my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge
    to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    there are free platform and free theme (site appearance), and you can decide what platform to organize the site. This website created on a free platform with free WordPress theme PORTOCAL

    [Ответить]

  90. Remarkable issues here. I am very happy to see your article.

    Thank you a lot and I’m taking a look ahead to contact you.
    Will you kindly drop me a mail?

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    ask questions or suggest topics. Let’s talk. Waiting for an answer here in the comments

    [Ответить]

  91. Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging
    on sites I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It will always be interesting to read articles from other authors and practice a
    little something from other sites.

    [Ответить]

Оставить комментарий

Яндекс.Метрика