Жизнь в семье. Понимание.

Жизнь в семье. Понимание.

Жизнь в семье равнозначна жизни на острове, где нет никого, кроме твоей семьи. Заходя домой, ты закрываешь за собой входную дверь. Семья внутри. Чужие не зайдут – дверь закрыта.

Что происходит в семье, знают и чувствуют только те, кто в ней живет.

Семья – это свой мир, это  микровселенная.

Когда смотришь на фото или видео Земли из космоса, то видишь прекрасную зелено-голубую планету.

Когда смотришь с Земли на Луну, то видишь однообразный серо-синий шар.

Так и семья. Одна видится со стороны счастливой, а другая – замученной

А внутри? Что действительно происходит внутри? В семье?

Сколько семей, столько и картинок. Причем семья, это не одна картинка, а сборник альбомов, в каждом из которых очень много картинок.

А картинки все разные:

Есть картинки, которые вызывают просто омерзение. Желание, посмотрев их, пойти и умыться с мылом и щеткой.

А, бывает, наоборот. Открыв, серый с виду альбом, попадаешь в сказочный, не  реальный мир. Да. С первого взгляда все серо и убого, но, когда внимательно присмотришься, ты начинаешь чувствовать всем телом любовь и взаимное понимание, которое исходит от глаз членов семьи.

Как сейчас модно говорить – разная энергетика.

Семья это группа людей разного возраста, группа индивидуальностей. Причем, даже в похожих ситуациях, действия членов этой группы каждый раз разные. Причем, разные, даже между двумя людьми, не говоря  уже о всей группе-семье.

Так что же такое счастливая или не счастливая семья? В чем их различие?

«Счастье – это когда тебя понимают» — сказал герой фильма «Доживем до понедельника».

Да, я с этим целиком согласен. Но в чем заключается это понимание?

Наверное, понимание заключается в том, чтобы тебя услышали именно так, как считаешь ты. Просто услышали тебя, обратили на тебя внимание.

Ведь самая большая ошибка при жизни в семье – это неумение услышать, понять собеседника.

Мой сын еще не все понятно говорит, и, когда я не могу понять его разговор, очень сильно психует и говорит – Ты кака! И тут я понимаю, что я не прав, и нужно исправлять положение. Надо понять – что хочет сказать сын. И  сделать все правильно – для него. Иначе он скажет – ты кака, я тебя не любу! Честно скажу, услышать такую фразу очень неприятно.

А в реальной жизни?

Ведь мы очень редко пытаемся понять тот или другой поступок члена семьи.                                                                                                                                                     Нет!  Мы, конечно, понимаем. Но, так как мы это считаем. Мы понимаем со своей точки зрения.

Но, в 99,9999999999% случаев это не так.

Мы не хотим вникать в суть вопроса.                                                                                   И тот член семьи, который хочет, чтобы мы его услышали и поняли – обижается и замыкается в себе.                                                                                                 А мы не хотим понять. Хотя понять, очень часто, совсем не сложно. Просто надо сесть и поговорить. На равных.

А не как взрослый и ребенок, не как муж и жена.                                                                   Часто решения  или  пути  решения вопроса находятся в такой беседе. В этот     момент нельзя давить своим авторитетом. Иначе можно добиться еще большего непонимания.

Ведь понимаете, в чем заключается жизнь в семье?

Она заключается в понимании друг друга. В полном понимании.

Только тогда все улыбаются, с удовольствием общаются, собираются за столом, вместе ходят гулять.

Мы, взрослые, часто дома ловим себя на том, что почему-то ребенок старается уйти из дома или скорее закрыть дверь в свою комнату. Почему-то муж или жена находят кучу очень срочных дел и уединяются – на кухне или в гараже.

Да все просто – мы в чем-то не поняли друг друга и обиделись. А обида внутри человека, почему-то, имеет свойство разрастаться. И чем дольше мы не хотим понять друг друга, тем обида становится больше.

Самое смешное, что когда кто-то, более мудрый, все-таки настоит на разборе  непонимания и возникшей обиды, то, оказывается, что вопрос  и «выеденного  яйца не стоил». Разобравшись – все смеются. И обиды как не бывало. Но ведь первый шаг надо сделать!

Нам, простым людям «среднего класса», всегда кажется — вот будет у нас много денег и будет нам счастье.

А люди,  которые вообще не считают деньги (ну есть они у них и есть), очень часто говорят, что они несчастны!

Жизнь в семье имеет много граней.

Но, ПОНИМАНИЕ – это ОСНОВА СЧАСТЛИВОЙ СЕМЬИ.

Только мы сами можем сделать свою семью счастливой.

Выскажите, пожалуйста, свое мнение.

Вы можете оставить комментарий, или ссылку на Ваш сайт.

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