Выбрать жену

Выбрать жену. 

Скорее даже не выбрать, а рассмотреть в той прекрасной, единственной и любимой живого человека с его достоинствами и недостатками, которые есть во всех нас.

Вы встретели девушку (женщину), какое-то время общались и приняли решение о предложении ей СВОЕЙ руки и сердца. Чтобы счастливо прожить вместе всю долгую жизнь. И, дай вам Бог, родить и вырастить детей и внуков.

Я не зря выделил слово СВОЕЙ. В этом слове и скрывается тот основной камень преткновения, который разрушает семьи.

Каждый из нас имеет свои привычки и правила, по которым он живет.  Часто они заложены еще в детстве вашими родителями. Иногда это привычки появляются у вас в процессе вашей жизни. Некоторые правила вы взяли за основу, потому, что жизнь вас так научила.

Главное не в том, что вы живете с такими установками. Это ваше.

Главное в том, что вы будите рассматривать ваши отношения в браке, с вашей второй половиной, именно с этих позиций. И не надо обманывать себя:

— это не главное, главное то, что я ее люблю                                                                      — я смогу ей объяснить, как это для меня важно и она поймет и будет делать, как я привык                                                                                                                        — я смогу ее переучить.

 ЗАПОМНИТЕ!                                                                                                                                      Ваши надежды НЕ ВЫПОЛНИМЫ. Это не я так считаю, это жизнь этому учит. Ведь все очень просто — ваша вторая половина тоже человек и у нее тоже есть свои привычки и правила. По которым она тоже привыкла жить.

Тут есть, конечно, некоторые исключения, но они встречаются довольно редко.  Это бывает, когда ОНА очень умная (жизненная) и готова изменить свои правила ради вас.

Но не обольщайтесь — попасть на такую жену, наверное, 0,1% из 100%.        Для этого вы должны:

— быть стабильно обеспеченным                                                                                             — с уважением и любовью постоянно относится  к жене — это не только поцелуи по утрам и перед сном, но это и секс (желательно чаще) и помощь по дому, участие в воспитании детей   — быть мужчиной, которым хочется гордиться                                                                — быть оптимистом в любой ситуации — только с уверенным мужчиной женщина будет чувствовать себя комфортно.

Только выполняя ВСЕ эти пункты вы вправе расчитывать, что ваша жена будет жить по вашим законам. Не выполнение, хотя бы одного пункта, сразу же нарушает баланс семейного  психологического покоя.

Повторяю — это только 0,1% случаев из всех семейных браков. (Хотя это моя личная оценка).

Подавляющее большинство мужчин женятся на обычных женщинах, которые продолжают жить по своим правилам.

Теперь мы возвращаемся к теме моего поста — Выбрать жену.

А, точнее, поняв смысл моего вступления, решите для себя — готовы ли вы жить с обычной женщиной? Она самая красивая, самая умная и сообразительная, она изумительно готовит, она не сравнима в сексе, но она будет с вами КАЖДЫЙ ДЕНЬ, ВСЕГДА.

Теперь, самое главное! Вы сейчас в периоде своей жизни — жених.

Вы должны быть охотником, причем очень внимательным, все то время, которое вы находитесь со своей избранницей. Любое ее действие вы должны сразу прикидывать для себя.                                                                           Готовы ли вы наблюдать ЭТО каждый день!                                                             Всю жизнь!

Умная женщина должна делать то же самое.

Ведь мелочи, которые мы за собой не замечаем — мы к этому привыкли и считаем, что это правильно, на самом деле для вашего партнера могут казаться очень важными. Даже не приемлимыми. Вот и начинает разрушаться ДОМ СЕМЕЙНОГО СЧАСТЬЯ, которой вы вместе собрались строить. Лучше понять это заранее, до официального оформления своих отношений. Тогда остануться простые и добрые отношения.

Взаимное наблюдение в цветочно-конфетный период должно быть везде:

  • в ресторане или гостях — умение общаться с людьми, знание этикета (в вашем понимании), умение пользоваться столовыми приборами(если для вас это важно), элементарное чавканье
  • на улице — внешний вид партнера (чистая обувь, чистая и поглаженная одежда, просто манера одеваться)
  • дома — тут нужно быть особо внимательным, так как, то, что вас в этот период умиляет — в повседневной жизни будет просто БЕСИТЬ (тапочки при входе; зубная щетка и паста; чистое зеркало; видимость для глаза предметов личной гигиены женщины; порядок на кухне; чистая посуда; пыль и порядок в комнатах; порядок в платяных шкафах; просто то. в чем ходит ваша избранница (ик) дома).

Этот список каждый может продолжить под себя.

Хочется отметить еще один очень важный вопрос (на мой взгляд) в отношениях, который (я считаю) надо обговорить до оформления брака. Это финансы.

Нет ничего унизительного, чтобы этот вопрос очень серьезно обсудить. Сегодня жизнь такая. За границей на эту тему говорят сразу и без стыда.

Самое простое решение этого щикотливого вопроса (в России) — заключение брачного контракта. Там описывается все, и потом, в жизни и при разводе, не возникает взаимных претензий. Все элементарно.

В нашей стране, а мы всегда сначала создаем искусственно трудности, а потом очень трудно с ними боремся (и не всегда находим правильное решение), считается стыдно решать этот вопрос до брака. Якобы этим мы унижаем своего любимого человека недоверием. Но зато, иногда, сразу в первый день семейной жизни, можем заявить: Это мои деньги! Почему-то уже не стыдно? Хотя, любовь и брак предполагают, изначально, равенство во всем.                                                                                                                                                 Но это не наша сегодняшняя тема.

Выбрать жену и не мучать потом всю жизнь ни ее, ни себя.                          Ведь главное, для чего мы существуем на Земле — вырастить детей, которые всю жизнь были между любящими родителями.  .                                     Дети воспитанные в любви и уважении будут строить окружающую жизнь по тем же правилам.

Выбирайте внимательно. Не спешите. Ведь вы выбираете не только свою последующую жизнь, но и жизнь своих будущих детей.

Мы сами строим мир вокруг себя.

 

 

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279 комментариев к записи “Выбрать жену”

  1. Олег:

    Выбирая спутницу жизни. когда тебе уже за 35, уже трезво оцениваешь на что ты идешь. Внутри себя ты уже прокрутил почти все возможные жизненные ситуации, которые тебя ожидают в жизни. Тут главное определить для себя — я готов находиться рядом с этой женщиной в любой ситуации. Быть рядом и ПОМОЧЬ (!), всегда и во всем.
    А если короче, то просто дайте ответ себе: готов ли я УВАЖАТЬ свою будущую жену всю последующую семейную жизнь?
    Если отвечаете себе «Да», то смело делайте предложение.
    Такое мое мнение

    [Ответить]

    admin Reply:

    Согласен с Олегом. Я тоже считаю, что уважение жены (со стороны мужа) и постоянная готовность подставить плечо — это и есть основа семьи. Крепкая семья существует только, когда оба супруга уверены друг в друге.Поэтому серьезная оценка своей избранницы до брака должна быть обязательно. Если вы хотите прожить вместе всю жизнь

    [Ответить]

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